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Watching Paint Dry


Some people can be so focused on their future that they forget what's happening in the now. After having my daughter I shifted into living in the present, living in the moment. Sometimes while you're waiting for the next bottle cleaning or diaper change or breast pump, time can be moving fast and extremely slow at the same time. Those first 3 months of your kid's life seem to last forever and it can almost be like things will never get any better. But they will, and in this life everything is temporary or nothing lasts forever. 



I heard it one too many times while I was pregnant and when my daughter was a new born time flies. So I made it my business to sometimes just sit in the stillness. Because there have been moments, even weeks, where I've noticed physical change in my kid. Sometimes it was even overnight where I could say I can see the growth and that's a beautiful thing to witness.



Life is going to take care of itself especially if you focus on what needs to be done. Yes, set your goals, your vision, but make sure that “you're pennies, when you count them they added to dollars” ~K. Smith


I used to be so anxious and apprehensive about future events, different moments, tasks, or periods of time. I always prayed about God giving me the time to gradually accept whatever I'm walking into. So glad that if you happened to get pregnant…It's not like you're pregnant one day and then you have the baby the next. You have to take time to actually grow the person. In life that's usually how things go. That's typically what I pray for, a gradual ascension to the next level.


Some people can make a decision and they flip a switch and become the decision. I don't think I'm there and that's okay. We talked about this on Resurrection Sunday, how Jesus was the message and He became the message literally. But that too also took time. Then there comes the time where we have to do what we said we were going to. Become the thing that we've been preaching all the while. I think at that very moment is when the switch flips.


For me I do a lot of internal work and preparation. It's mental. This is because I'm evaluating all of the pros and cons, all the sacrifices that may be at hand. Weighing my opportunities and my obstacles. Which all leads to do I want to “become” this decision I'm about to make?



Sometimes I want to move as fast as a shooting star and other times I just want to sit still as if I were watching paint dry. It takes a conscious decision to do both. Neither are right or wrong. Some decisions will require more of you. More than you're initially willing to sacrifice. The transformation into motherhood helped me balance the two. 

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