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Home Alone

8:05p July 26, 2023

I'm home having already fed Soñai and laid her down in her bassinet with her stuffed animal in her arm and pacifier in her mouth. We're listening to a cool and calm gospel mix as the sunsets on this lovely summer evening.

The mood is reminiscent of something you may have seen in a movie or read in a book. I often think, is this the routine I'm going to have when we settle into our own place? Mom making the final meal, she cleans and preps the kitchen for the next day and begins her nightly chores. I have clothes to wash and put up… and I'm teetering on procrastinating lol just because it's been a long day. Then I say to myself that's not an excuse because the time is ticking and you going back to work is right around the corner.

Staying consistent is one of the hardest things to do in life. But when there's a system in place people thrive so much better. That's what I want to create for myself. Being forced to pump breastmilk and feed on a strict schedule has helped me plan better for Soñai and myself. I remember when I procrastinated and waited till the last minute to pump or prepare her bottle, she was crying more. I was late and behind schedule. Reacting instead of being proactive. And both of us suffered. She had to wait for me and I had to scramble. I wanted better for the both of us. I decided to make sure I had her bottle ready whether it was breastmilk or formula ahead of time. Cleaning my materials right after each use so when I came in from a long day I didn't have to clean then sit and pump because now everything was already clean and ready for use.

My view most days lol

This small lesson showed me that I too can truly be proactive in other areas and see progress. Progress in my organization and my peace.

6:12p July 27, 2023

I am currently listening to a youtube video about “Feeling Behind in Life & The Pressure to Have it Together by 30”. Something that was mentioned that we often forget is social media tends to be a highlight reel of people's lives. As this is true for me I try to do just that but give a more authentic experience. I show vulnerability while staying private. Transparency is something I don’t necessarily owe anyone. If I feel however my vulnerability combined with my transparency can be an inspiration then I will shed light on an area in my life that I struggle with. Challenges will be a consistent thing and how we recover can offer a solution to someone else. How we recover can lift someone out of a dark place. My main goal is to always be positive. Are there some things that aren’t anyone’s business? Yes. That’s when you have the right to be private and silent. Those are the things that will never be mentioned. What I like about myself is I have so much to say, so much that I think about, it will be more than enough for “you” reading to chew on and still keep something for myself.

I want to highlight a favorite podcast episode, a dream I once had. Take a listen and I hope you can envision it just like I did.

Funny Moment of my week:

Coco Taylor 2010 - 2022

Who is Coco? My late dog of the past 12 years.

Encouraging words of wisdom:

  • Stay consistent in doing the work. Someone is watching. Continue to be the inspiration.

  • Don’t mistake God’s patience for God’s approval.

  • The things which flow to you are meant to flow to you… ain’t got to ask why. Don’t need to figure out how to repeat it. Just enjoy what comes thru the flow in this moment. - @arjwright

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